Out on the town

Posted on October 20, 2010


I have recently both recovered from a very minor surgery and acquired a new toy:  my very first cellular phone, featuring a camera.  I thus opted to make use of my self and my new toy by going for a stroll this evening and taking a few snapshots.  Here are some things I have catalogued for your entertainment.

First:  the Rideau Curling Club.  I noticed this a while ago (when visiting for some hot curling action with colleagues), and now I have photographic evidence.  Behold:

 

The very high security Rideau Curling Club / favourite venue amongst Satanic ritualists

 

Okay fine, the curlers want to have their own secret club with a password and everything, so that they can feel like eating pogos and getting drunk on Wednesdays is special and daring.  Cool, I get it.  But why on earth does the curling club of all places need a peep hole on the door?!?!  Seriously, who is trying to get into the curling club, such that they need to see who’s out there before the septuagenarian doorman gets off of his stool and opens the door?  I wonder, do the guys from the Legion sometimes swing by and try to make off with the curlers’ honeys, or sneak in and steal their League Champion banners?  Really – I want to know why the peep hole was installed.  Someone please tell me.  All theories are welcome.

Next, something creepy, and no I’m not obsessed with massages, in spite of what this blog might make you believe…

 

I'm willing to bet a princely sum that the girls inside are not having anywhere near as much fun as this picture suggests

 

Great.  Shouldn’t they at least be pretending to be legitimate?  Even a little bit?  My main question:  who is going in at eight o’clock in the morning?  Really.  And, because I am such a dedicated pseudo journalist I took the trouble of visiting their website so that you don’t have to.  Ugh…  Just a little more innocence I’ll never get back.  Here’s what I have to report:

  1. The call their business “Asian Naturougherapy”.  For real.  It’s natural?  It’s rough?  It’s therapy?  Huh?  I don’t even know how one is supposed to pronounce it, much less what it’s supposed to mean.  I don’t think they do either.
  2. The main page features this alluring text:  “With fast paced lives and the continuous chase to meet deadlines, the tired mind and body does tend to seek out for a stress buster and increasingly so. Some people enjoy a stressful situation and find a rewarding experience in working under stress. Whereas there are people who are bogged down by stress and find stress affecting not only their minds but their bodies as well.”  Uhh…  I think they RELIEVE STRESS (having used the word “stress” five times in three sentences) somehow.
  3. They’ve just hired a lovely new girl named Yoyo.  I don’t know about you, but as fake “sexy” names go that’s a pretty weak effort.  Maybe Bozo will join their team next week.
  4. The site features a very scary gallery of low-rent photos of the scantily clad employees with their faces blurred out.  It’s just as creepy as you think it is; don’t find out for yourself.

And finally!  My mom took me out to get some groceries (thanks mom) and we visited a local kitchen store (C.A. Paradis).  For whatever reason they have a mannequin at the very front of the store.  It’s the first thing you see when you open the door, how very welcoming.  Check it out:

 

Italian grandmother possessed by the Dark Lord - welcome to our store!

Here’s a tip.  If your elderly relatives pass away:  bury them.  Do NOT embalm them and put them in your place of business, it’s bad for sales (notable exceptions:  Wooden Stake & Silver Bullet Warehouse, personality cults).

 

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Posted in: The Obscure