Dr. Seuss perverted by industry

Posted on April 16, 2011


Recently I visited a bank to see about obtaining a *gulp* mortgage.  I assumed that the process would be extremely unseemly and greasy, but in truth it was anything but.  Lucky me.  I inquired as to whether the mortgage broker ever dealt with mobsters or other types of criminals, or things like this.  To no avail.  I didn’t get any good stories.  I did, however, come upon something horrific.  I walked into the office, and there was a children’s book on the chair, left by some previous haggard parent who crammed whatever was ready to hand into junior’s face to get the young one happy.  It was a Dr. Seuss book.  How thoughtful of the bank.  I put it aside.

But!  During a lull in my high finance banking (mortgage limit:  $4.5 million) I took a closer look.  And then it came into focus:

Bankers doing their best to destroy the souls of children everywhere

It’s a fake Dr. Seuss book about money!!  What kind of soulless crooks produced this monstrosity?  I told my mortgage broker that he should be ashamed of himself for having such a thing.  He pleaded that it wasn’t his office, and seemed believable (and appropriately shamed).  Blech.  “Author” Bonnie Worth:  you have a lot of explaining to do.

And also, from the Chinatown files…  I noticed a help wanted sign the other day.  But, as usual in Chinatown, it was just a little bit off.  For some reason, this business decided to advertise for labour by including an extremely crappy virtual reality 3D model of their store, just in case you were incapable of actually looking in the window.  Behold!

Help wanted. In ways they didn't intend.

Huh?  I love it.

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Posted in: The Obscure