Barely legal – hardcore pienography

Posted on October 3, 2011

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From time to time I make musical barter arrangements, which I always enjoy.  I have created custom songs and ringtones in exchange for scones, pies, carrot cake, Vietnamese coffee, cake, and other things.  It’s always satisfying to enter into a strange bargain with someone, and all the more so because they usually think I’m kidding until I deliver the goods.  Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t screw around.  In fact I’ve long hoped to expand this little sideline, because it’s a lot of fun for me, and really who wouldn’t want super cheap custom music?  This service should be popular, damn it.

Recently I got my strangest job to date.  A while back I made a song for a friend, and a colleague of hers heard it and dug it.  Cool.  Two years later I get an email from her saying, hey, someone in our office is retiring, can you make a song for us?  Yes, yes I can.

So they sent me some lyrics (in French and English, a challenge!) and asked me to do sort of a Stompin’ Tom kind of thing.  I was sorely tempted to try doing something in that style but ultimately relented, becuase I have no idea how I would go about it.  It felt awful bursting the Stompin’ Tom bubble, but I said “I don’t really do that” and left it at that.  But don’t worry folks, I delivered!  After a few hours in the studio I kicked out an epic Ballad of Francine tune, featuring sampled cello and hyperactive synthesizer arpeggios.  The client liked it and then some.  So then all that remained was the small matter of my fee.  Today I returned home to find the following…

Huh? What's this? Highly effective squirrel-proofing. Moderately effective hobo-proofing.

Best to do list of all time? Probably.

Never let it be said that I suffer for my art.

What a bounty!  Not one but two pies!  And some cool whip to boot.  Hell yes!  So if you have need of my services, and have some baking (or any other intriguing good or service) to trade, get in touch.  You won’t be disappointed.  Major praise to these fine ladies, who paid their debt in style.

Posted in: Music, Shenanigans