Totally random images from around town

Posted on July 3, 2012

Today I have a small feature for you all, loyal readers, consisting entirely of random images from around Ottawa.  No preamble required.

First up is the belated sounding of the funeral bell for a local business which is no more.  Alas.  What business?  Check it out:

Crome Boyz. Represent.

Crome Boyz was a shop which sold all manner of pimp-worthy autoparts and such.  They were located in Hintonburg, just across from the original Hintonburger location.  How they persisted at all is a pure mystery, but they are the latest casualty (along with Bonkers and Peanuts, and a good lot of the street drug trade) of the neighbourhood’s rebirth.  This isn’t a bad development, holus-bolus, but development does not come without a cost.  Let’s take a moment to appreciate this fine bit of advertizing, shall we?  It’s important to note that they went 0 for 2 in spelling the name of the business, which is very laudable and not easy to bull off.  And please let us also appreciate the figures of the boyz themselves, rendered obviously by someone who realized only halfway through that he was incapable of actually pulling off any recognizable human features and so instead decided to just go with gumby-like grey shirtless blobs, looking tough.  This masterpiece no longer exists, as it has been painted over by some rapacious capitalist philistine.  For shame.

Next let’s check out a thriving local business:

Buy honey from the van or end up in the van, you choose.

I noticed a classic white serial killer van driving around the other day, with this “sign” magnetically attached to it.  Um…  good job?  I guess?  There were no other distinguishing features, just this weird picture of a dude holding up some honey, a yahoo address, and (most bizarrely) a little inset picture of a different brand of honey.  So is the guy just a stock picture?  Do they offer different varieties?  Who knows?!  Visit their website?  No way.  Just send them an email.  “Dear 100% Pure Honey Van, I would like some honey.  7 litres.”  Done.

And finally, welcome to…

Pets… can’t talk?

Canine Touch & Tell Massage?!?  Really??  I rode by this the other day and just about fell onto my face.  “Touch & Tell Massage”?  For animals?  What does this even mean?  No interpretation of it makes any sense at all, but every interpretation of it is really, really creepy.  Maybe they’re trying to be upfront about the fact that the dogs don’t get a happy ending?  This isn’t some no-tell kind of place!  I thought that was assumed.  I don’t know what to think about this joint.

Posted in: The Obscure