I took a recent trip to beautiful, economically devastated Renfrew County and have much to report. My pal and I decided to visit the area and tour some local cemeteries, searching for the tombs of his distant and not-so-distant relatives. Renfrew County is replete with minor wonders, and I will share some of them with you here. Before we get started you can refer to this map to orient you during our tour:
Those helpful blobs are the places we visited. First we’ll start with Denbigh. Once upon a time, probably fifteen years ago, I passed through Denbigh and saw confirmation of a place my friend had sighted years previously: The Circular Saw Museum, which appeared to be located in someone’s house. Ever since we have wanted to go check it out and learn all about saws. So we finally pulled into town, passed the church, and promptly exited town. No Circular Saw Museum! Our best theory is that it burned down. Strike one.
Next we visited maybe the best place in Ontario… Khartum! Pause for a moment. Canada is littered with little towns named after places from whence immigrants came. Around Kingston one can find Warsaw, Odessa, Moscow, Verona, and so on. This makes sense, since people from these places settled there and wanted a little touch of home. Cool. So how on earth did it come to pass that there exists a “town” named after the capital of the Sudan? Maybe Canada’s only 19th century Sudanese immigrant settled there. Maybe. But in fact, no one settled there. Behold, the bustling centre of Khartum:
For as long as I have known about Khartum there have been precisely zero dwellings located within the town. In fact there is nothing within the town except one creepy road heading into the bush. Uh oh… But! Progress sweeps over everything, and now Khartum has two dwellings. While we were pulled over taking exciting pictures some dude came out of his house with his trusty dog. I think it was the mayor. I reckon he was wondering what we were up to. So now you know about Khartum, and you too can visit. If you do please take a picture with the sign and send it in. It can become the internet’s lamest, most labour intensive meme.
Next we visited Eganville. I bought a hot dog. The end.
After that we prowled around some graveyards. Rather eerily there were several graves from long ago that looked as though they had been freshly dug – dirt unsettled, no grass, but the fellow died thirty plus years ago. Nonetheless we spotted no undead creatures. I did spot this extremely crude headstone, that appears to have been created lovingly, with a stick and some concrete.
I trust that FREd is resting in peace. Old, crummy tombstones are irresistibly captivating aren’t they? If you have pictures of some please send them in. There was another little one that simply said “Father” on it. No dates, no name, no nothing else. It got me thinking that it would be funny to buy a few graves and make some fake headstones for future cemetery stalkers to find. Say for the muppets, or something. That’s the kind of thing I would do if I were obscenely rich. Forget you, charity.
Our journey next took us to Wilno, Canada’s oldest Polish settlement. It is home to the famous Wilno Tavern, where one can get a really big perogy. There is a new store there called Pickles & Quilts which improbably lives up to its name. I bought a pie there which turned out to be excellent. Now you know.
Finally, the showstopper, my man Godo took us to visit lovely Foymount. Holy hell!! Foymount is a legitimate ghost town and then some. Actually it’s weirder than that, since it’s half a ghost town. Some history: Foymount is Ontario’s highest populated point, at a whopping 500 metres above sea level. For this reason the Royal Canadian Air Force elected to establish a radar station at the site in 1952, which became part of the Pinetree Line, there to save us from nuclear annihilation by letting us know about our impending deaths several minutes in advance. Nice! Check out the system:
Now I’m no expert, but somehow I think the Pintree Line is maybe not the most effective line of defence. If attacking Soviet planes manage to make it that far without being detected all of Canada’s populated centres are already smoking piles of radioactive ash and the US has a few minutes to say its prayers. I guess the real warning system was: if Canada explodes scramble fighters! I imagine working on the Pinetree line was less than motivating, though it was probably better than freezing one’s ass off in Resolute or some godforsaken place. Anyways, Foymount was the site of one of these stations, until it was shuttered (owing to its utter uselessness) in 1974. Apparently they just boarded up the buildings, cleared out the sad apartments, and fled town in the night. Now there is the town proper, with a few inhabited houses, and the ghost town on the hill, which consists of candy coloured tenements gone to seed:
The whole scene was extremely eerie. Clouds rolled in. Birds settled. The breeze teased the flora. Nothing happened. To truly get the effect I suggest you watch the following video. The houses in the distance are inhabited; everything else is abandoned.
And there you have it, a glimpse into the strange and mysterious Renfrew County. But don’t let this little article suffice – go there your bad self, eat a sausage in Wilno, get the Golden Lake itch (yes it’s a real phenomenon), and see if you can find the elusive Circular Saw Museum.
lonesomeaviary
May 30, 2011
Great stuff – funny and informative as per. I think every town should have an annual Porcupine Chase.
Maybe the ladder was for quicker access to the rapture, which came and went without the rest of us noticing.
jerseymilk
June 7, 2011
After making that up I became sad that Porcupine Chases don’t exist… I’d love to see one! With everyone I hate participating, so whoever wins gets spiked and I’m happy. ahhh…..
Victoire
June 7, 2011
LOL, especially re that ladder
jerseymilk
June 7, 2011
! I’m totally going to get the Regine bounce in my usage stats this week aren’t I?
Victoire
June 7, 2011
Yes you are. And I facebooked and tweeted this, so like expect a TRIPLE bump!
Dave
September 2, 2011
Hi there…we too went to Denbigh, Ontario and according to the postmaster, the Circular Saw Museum was sold ten years ago (2001) when the owner wished to retire. The new owners apparently didn’t want a Circular Saw Museum in their house.
😦
Dave
jerseymilk
September 5, 2011
Ahhh MAN! That’s a full fledged, bona fide tragedy. My man, thank you very much for visiting! And the fact that you asked a small town postmaster about the fate of a circular saw museum means that you have earned my utmost respect. Please visit again!
Anonymous
January 7, 2012
Khartum named after famous seige in Eygpt .. General Gordon.etc. Cdn Raftsmen were send up the Nile to try and help . Many Polsih people settled in Renfrew Count but some of the placenames refer to teh Crimean War.
Granny from the Valley
jerseymilk
January 9, 2012
I figured as much, but you have set the record straight. Thanks very much for visiting and especially for commenting. Got any other hot tips on things I should investigate in the Valley, or things I should write about?
Thanks again!
Bree-Anna Gillingham
January 9, 2012
First of all that thing about the circular saw museum burning down it’s still there I know because I live in it!!
jerseymilk
January 9, 2012
Bree-Anna – Really?? That is awesome!! I’ve seriously wanted to go there for a very long time. So where is it, and how on earth did I miss it? What can you tell me about the museum?
Bree-Anna Gillingham
January 15, 2012
Well it has been renovated a lot but there’s lots of different houses and buildings that were the museum also it was like a little town designed to look like denbigh in the late 1800’s or early 1900’s I’m only 13 so I don’t know too much about it but have lots of antiques from it
Geoff Ryan
April 27, 2012
Ummm…Buck Hill
jerseymilk
April 28, 2012
Umm… What is this comment?
Clay
July 27, 2014
Khartum was originally part of the ghost town of Balvenie (just to the east). In 1903 Balvenie split apart and a new post office was opened called Lett (1903) while the Balvenie post office remained. In 1908 the name of Lett was changed to Khartum in honor of the Ottawa River men who journeyed to the Nile to do an excursion to Khartum, Sudan.. There was a sawmill here since aboyt the mid-1850s so the history goes back a lot further than people suppose..
jerseymilk
September 15, 2014
Why thank you sir. Very informative! Khartum is a waaaaaay better name than Lett. Thank goodness.